Dixons Retail, who advertise frequently on Watchdog, are ditching Anne Robinson as their front man and enlisting a lesser dark force, Darth Vader for their pre Christmas push.
“The jackbooted, war mongerer, dressed in black intimidates customers” says advertising director Jeremy Gold, “so we are replacing Anne with the more humane individual to make hard-up shoppers aware of improvements in customer service at our stores”.
The ad will retell the classic scene from Return of the Jedi when Vader flies to the Death Star to check if his faulty Amstrad E-Mailer has been repaired yet. Dixons have forgone a Hollywood set in favour of using their Curry's store in Thurrock, home to all manner of obnoxious creatures often referred to as customers.
“Last year, our adverts depicted R2-D2 and C-3PO, amazed at the brilliant technology on offer after breaking into our megastore at Tottenham” continued Gold, “but recently less sharp consumers took this idea too literally and forced us to think outside of the box for this Christmas”.
Dixons marketing manager Andrea Gold told us "We have invested a huge amount in our staff training and development based on what we have learnt from Star Wars. Our Everything you need to know about computers staff manual has been doubled in size to ten pages by using larger print and all staff will be issued with lightsabers, specially adapted to hide their horrible hum. Customers who haven’t bothered to research products they wish to buy, asking awkward technical questions, may be cauterised lightly. This will give our staff more time to devote to selling what really matters, our lifetime guarantees so loved by all visiting aliens”.
The marketing drive launches this Saturday, with the first ad scheduled for showing during The X Factor, chosen as the mentality of those still watching it, matches potential Dixons customers perfectly!