On the day the International Labour Organization has reported the world is on the verge of a global recession, the BBC have announced that their Business Editor, Robert Peston's smugness is beginning to get to dangerously high levels
The ILO have said that as poverty becomes more widespread, the risk of social disobedience increases. The BBC have similar concerns over Peston's safety. Head of Security at the Beeb told us, "we have had to give Robert 24 hour personal protection following a number of threats to 'wipe the smug look off his face'
The problem first arose after Peston received numerous plaudits for uncovering the near collapse and subsequent nationalisation of Northern Rock in 2008.
In an interview with the FT, his wife said "Robert became unbearable. He would sit at home, watching the lines and lines of people outside banks with a look of fear in their eyes. All he could do was sit there saying 'I did that' over and over again, with the smirk growing across his face"
"It didn't seem to be a problem at first" Helen Boaden, Director of News at the BBC told us. "Although we know he was becoming a smug git, we didn't receive many complaints. I think people were still mesmerized by his strange delivery style. But when he was the first person to report on the Lloyds TSB-HBOS Merger, his head actually grew in size to accommodate his ever increasing grin."
Peston's friends are becoming concerned about his mental health. One colleague told us "Robert's continuous wallowing in bad news is a worry. He has developed an unhealthy phobia of green 'up' arrows."
"It's not a problem in the studio" she continued "we very rarely see them here, but he is an emotional wreck at traffic lights"
Double dip Hat-tip to Waylandsmithy