“Ring of Prayer” to be used to stage “All Anglican” punch up.
In one corner of the ring, Christians who support protestors’ right to occupy St Pauls. In the other corner, Christians who support efforts to remove them, by force if all else fails. Into the ring will climb those from both corners. Because all agree on one thing. The best way to resolve the dispute is what one church leader called “a festival of the old fisticuffs.”
“It’s simply not true that there is no place for violent confrontation in Christianity,” said the Bishop of Woolwich, aka “Bish Bash Bosh”, who preaches as a welterweight in London. “ I’m certainly up for a bit of the old ultra-v if it’s all in a good cause. Blood of our lord and all that” Meanwhile, the Reverend Mark Jameson, one of the Church’s seven karate black belts said “It’s all about discipline, and we mustn’t forget where that word comes from. I would be a willing disciple in the fight against whatever it is we’re fighting against. Or for. And a clergyman who did not want his name reported, aksked for his views responded: "You want some son? Cos ask me again and that's what you'll get, fella." Meanwhile openly gay clergymen like the Reverend Jim Smith says “The camp has been a subject of hot debate in the church. I for one will be booking a ringside seat for this event.”
However, some Anglicans are concerned that other Christian groups might see the contest as a signal to re-open old hostilities. The head of the Catholic Church as well as Baptists, Methodists and the Church Army all want an in. And non-Christian religions are also set to field candidates. The Chief Rabbi is expected to take part, although his wife has been reported as saying “Leave it, Oliver. They’re not worth it. Leave it!”
Meanwhile, the search for a completely impartial referee goes on. Richard Dawkins heads the list of likely candidates. Tickets for what’s being billed as the “mangle in the quadrangle” will go on sale at the St Paul’s gift shop at midnight.