Monarchists took a sharp intake of breath when Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge suggested she and William "aren't really the parenty type, to be honest".
The DILF continued "There's so much of the world we want to see, and you just can't do that when you're a parent. Imagine us at a full moon party in Kho Pha Nan with one heir to the throne off his tits on mushrooms and another in a papoose? It's not going to happen."
While Royal commentators expressed concern at the couple's lack of proliferation, former ginger Nicholas Witchell remarked that the way Harry's "at it with foreign waitresses, we'll have heirs all over the bloody place in a year or two. It's just a shame he doesn't crack that Pippa bit; those two might at least breed out the male pattern baldness".
Kate made her remarks at the Henly Women's Institue Gin Festival, where she was also overheard to say "He may well be the heir to the throne, but I think we all know he's punching above his weight a bit."