A hardened gang of thieves called the "Prime Ministerial" candidates will on Thursday night outline thier plans to mug the nation.
The "gang of three" are known to be the spokemen for a wide cabal of over 600 thieves who have systematically raped and plundered the nations resources for the last five years.
It is understood that MI5 have planted a mole within this organisation code named "Johnny Utah" - speculation is rife that Vince Cable or Nick Clegg could be "Johnny Utah"