A recent study being reported by the BBC has discovered a remarkably tenuous link between two factors which were previously thought to be unrelated.
Undertaken by a six man team at a university, the work used new techniques and innovatively low sample sizes in order to draw dubious conclusions from fundamentally flawed research, which will be of no benefit whatsoever to anybody other than a desperate science journalist trying to fill empty column inches.
‘We are incredibly excited by the findings.’ Said the head researcher, ‘We knew what we wanted to find before we started, so the whole thing was set up to be biased from the beginning. By only surveying 18 people, simply asking them loaded questions and taking their answers as fact, rather than doing a proper scientific study, we found a vague correlation between the two factors in almost half of the cases. Which we are now claiming is concrete proof of a link between the two things.’
The whole team are delighted with the results and adamant that this discovery justifies the funding they received for 3 years’ work. They are also hopeful that more funding will now be forthcoming for a new 5 year study that will stop them having to get a real job for a while longer.