As the Occupy Wall St. protest spreads accross the US, one group of demonstrators in Illinois have instead occupied the Springfield branch of Walmart. Self styled spokesman for the group, Ed White, explained how they came to be there. “I was listening to one of those talk radio shows in the car, all about how Obama gave all of our tax dollars to the Wall St. banks because of that Credit crunch caused by Democrat overspending while George Bush was president for eight years. It made me so mad, and then I heard something on the news about a call to occupy Walmart. I didn’t hear much more because the reception went bad just then, but it got me all fired up.”
As soon as he got home Ed began ringing round his friends and fellow members of the Elks club. “Pretty soon we had us a convoy” explained Ed “So we headed out to the local Walmart and that’s where we’ve been living 24 7 ever since”. Ed and his fellow protesters spend their days roaming the isles of Walmart with placards bearing slogans such as “Heck, no we won’t pay, to prop up banks in the USA” , “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need”, and “2 for 1 nite Mondays at Ed’s diner”.
Although they arrived with nothing and no real plan, Ed was soon able to get the placards made by the Walmart store’s stationary department. Having established a line of credit with the store, Ed says that he found them “Real easy to get along with. I mean, they’re open 24 hours anyway, so we can buy pretty much anything we need here food or beverage wise and we sleep in the camping section. In fact since we’ve been here, I’ve already bought an inflatable Rib motorboat and a shotgun that I never knew I needed, and Jessie over there is putting a down payment on a Jet ski. The manager even gives us free coffee and doughnuts in the morning to encourage us to keep it up. I’m pretty sure that was all the encouragement Brian needed to buy that hot tub.”
When asked what his aims were and what his end game was, Ed replied “We want to end this reckless overspending on credit that is pushing up our national debt”.