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ED209
offlineMember
i get loads of 'small grey' articles on the front page, but never ever headliners. Why is this? I don't think that all my articles are 'funny but not that funny'. Are they just a bit too short? Or do I not have the right handshake?
You have 20 seconds to comply
ED-209
MightyBlair
offlineMember
I've read lots of your subs and they've been funny. Lots of people post very funny things on here and don't get the FPs. The FPs I can think of seem to have a cracking original idea, a high volume of jokes and are fluidly written. I think it's tough to get it just right.And the likes of Genghis, Ludicity and Mary Evans are seasoned so it's practice. But, in the spirit of a showbiz put-down, stop being a bitch and write something funny:)
Mary Evans
offlineMember
Ed, for what it is worth, I was editing the NiBs a couple of weeks ago and published several of your subs because I thought they were super dooper. Probably didn't stop me from plodding my size nines all over them, but that's my own little power trip. I think you have some brilliant ideas, keep at it and I'm sure you'll get that orgasmic FP moment before long.
And as for being seasoned, MightyBlair, it's only a smattering of paprika, but it seems to help.
edward hack
offlineMember
Thanks Mary, that is very kind.
Just wish my own writing skills were better than wot they are.
Things work in my head fine, but when they hit the page things deteriorate.
Maybe a bit too crude at times, maybe a bit gobby too, maybe a bit 1960/70's.
Things tend to make the FP on the strength of the writing as much as the humour, which tends to sort the wheat from the chavs.
Getting the structure of a sentence or paragraph to work is an art in itself, which the best writers on here seem to do effortlessly.
There is much to admire here on NB.
Certainly helps make my day go with a smile.
So thanks, one and all - keep it coming.
ps...will a cheque be OK this time
MADJEZ
offlineMember
Ed it's quite normal for most blokes to think theirs are a little too short.
If you check your spam filter you've probably got a lot of mail from helpful companies selling creams and devices to help you stretch it out.
Remember it's not the length it's what you do with it and all the better if you've got a funny one that people can laugh at !
edward hack
offlineMember
Mad
I thinks that's a man-thing, most girls insist it IS the length as well as what you did with it (at least all the ones I have ever known - but I am from Shropshire).
However, if any of you guys are having a problem in 'that department' I can recommend the prostrate medication advertised on the top of these pages some days. Tamsulosin - It can have viagra style side effects, which sounds great....until it decides to start working while you are queuing for a book of stamps with all the old dears on pension day.
I was prescribed it (neat)a couple of years ago and it gradually built up in my system. Eventually I had to drop it all together or find myself up before the beak.
I now take Saw Palmeto - not as much fun, but much safer.
You have been advised/warned.
The All New Jeni B
offlineMember
No, no, no. You need a Scottish Deer Hound for that, so named because the feed bills are extortionate if you don't have any handy serfs to throw to it.
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