Seemingly fed up at the lack of media attention afforded to their historic cease-fire, Basque separatist group ETA today dramatically changed tack and vowed to physically sever the entire Iberian peninsula from Continental Europe and sail it into the south Atlantic.
Unless their demands for immediate autonomy in the Basque region are met, ETA vowed that three men wearing amusing white hoods and berets would stop waving their fists in the air and immediately begin the RYA Day Skipper course. The course, expected to last four days, will qualify the men to sail a small-to-medium sized continental landmass up to 10 miles from the shore in daylight only.
In the absence of an agreement, ETA has declared that it expects to cast off around 4pm next Friday. German Chancellor Angela Merkel is expected to stand atop the Pyrenees and wave goodbye.
The Prime Minister of Portugal, Pedro Passos Coelho, could not be contacted for comment. Sources close to him in Lisbon privately admitted 'while the Prime Minister has become used to the recent challenges affecting the Portuguese economy, he really did not see this one coming'.