Independent forecasters Ernst & Young have today linked the UK’s global credit rating to Wayne Rooney as long as he plays for a British football team and spends the majority of his salary in the UK. They confirmed however that it would be downgraded should he be transferred overseas, and will be reassessed if he takes his family on holiday to Dubai or allows his wife to go Christmas shopping in New York.
In similar moves, the Italian FA are guaranteeing a place in the international side for any Italian currently playing in the Premier League willing to return home and sign for a domestic club, and the Greek government have offered Christiano Ronaldo a free beach-front villa on Skiathos, a life-time supply of olive oil and unlimited access to Nana Mouskouri if he opens a savings account with the post office.
