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Sport - Channel 5 Manages to Offload Europa League

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Started 1 year ago by GreenCross
Latest reply from borednow

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GreenCross

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Management at Channel 5 were ecstatic this morning as they relieved themselves of overpriced mediocre European football.

As ITV signed a 3-year deal to transmit footage of games no-one cares about, Channel 5 released a statement on the matter through a spokesman.

Brian Conlon, Head of Putting Progammes in Some Sort of Order, said: "Jesus Christ, thank God that we've finally gotten rid. This has been messing up the schedules ever since I can remember."

ITV will show most of the matches on ITV4 and ITV.com, although if more than one viewer is detected matches may be elevated to ITV3.

Posted 1 year ago #
Vertically Challenged Giant

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'Mediocre European football that nobody cares about' it may be, but it's still the best thing on Channel 5.

Posted 1 year ago #
GreenCross

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Conlon continued: "Now we can get back to what we do best - soft porn. All this stuff about ISPs having to put porn filters in can only be good for our core business model here at Channel 5. We envisage being able to achieve a virtual monopoly on the quick wank on the sofa after the wife has gone to bed."

Posted 1 year ago #
Vertically Challenged Giant

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'Can somebody find out if Shannon Tweed is still alive and appearing in made-for-TV movies with paper-thin plots?'

Posted 1 year ago #
borednow

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that is good news, are they planning to buy more third rate American shite or are they in talks for another Aussie soap? Is there another Aussie soap broadcasting or would it be reruns of sons and daughters or prisoner cell block H?

Posted 1 year ago #

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