The new Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has welcomed the opportunity to tell people with guns what to do.
Following Dr Liam Fox's resignation after being caught having having a friend that, when stood next to him, made them look like a pleasant middle-class gay couple, sources close to Mr Hammond confirmed that he was excited by the new role.
Appearing before the assembled media this morning, Mr Hammond said: "I'm pleased to move on to a role that I feel suits my talents more. And the guns do seem like cracking fun. To be honest, I was struggling with transport - for instance I couldn't really decide what to do about traffic light controls at that tunnel under the railway in Maidenhead." When pressed on his new appointment he continued: "Dave told me that as it was in Theresa May's constituency I could leave it to her. She should able to look into it once she's finished whipping Ken Clarke."
As further details emerged about links between the Conservative Party and the lunatic fringe of the American right, David Cameron's office was keen to stress that this was all part of his grand plan.
A spokesman for the Prime Minister said: "It's the same strategy with cabinet ministers as previous governments used with Britain's nuclear power stations. Move them every now and then, and if they become really unpopular then perhaps change the name."