- which one would you choose?
hmm... maybe it's just me ............
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If you could thwack one, but only one, cabinet minister with a baseball bat -
(32 posts) (12 voices)
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Runestone Cowboy
offlineMemberIt's a tough choice. But I'm going to have to say 'aluminium'.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Runestone - brilliant! Made me laugh out loud.
Dvo - I only know 2, Cameron and Osborne, so I guess it would have to be one of them, probably just whichever was closest.
Posted 1 year ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberI couldn't possibly choose just one, so I'd line them up in a tightly-packed line, then hit Cameron first.
Hopefully I'd do it with sufficient force to create a 'Newton's Cradle' effect which would affect them all.Posted 1 year ago # -
Lovely idea ID, the image I now have in my head made me laugh out loud. That's 2 comments on this thread that have made me do that now. Thanks for starting it dvo!
Posted 1 year ago # -
dvo4fun
offlineMemberI like that idea Ironduke.
And runestone's 'aluminium' and I am somewhat drawn to using the implement in the manner of a snooker cue.
It's a tad like 'Desert island discs'. Picking eight is not too much trouble; Pickles, Gove, Osborne, Clegg (obviously), Cameron, Huhne (but he'd probably send his wife instead)and Francis Smug-Maude. Not sure who else would squeeze into the top eight.
But, when it comes to choosing just one .......
Right. Time for today's Largactil dose
Posted 1 year ago # -
Ironduke
offlineMemberI've got it...drawing inspiration from decimation, Spartacus, the popularity of X-factor / big brother and the much lamented demise of the medieval public pillorying/stoning/hangings...lets agree that all MPs deserve to be executed. Starting with a clear, common sense principle like that should establish widespread common ground.
Lets also agree that MPs owe us a hell of a lot of money, either through their personal swindling or the consequences of their mismanagement of the national economy. Again, I expect few quibbles there.
Now, it merely remains to negotiate a TV deal, and invent 650 progressively more horrible ways to be put to death- which they will then have to compete to get through in reverse order.
Then, (and this is the cunning bit), we wait for them to repeal the HUman Rights legislation, and just as it goes through and is passed into statute...we do the Big Reveal. We put the MPs in a bear pit, we list the ways of their death, and make them fight (or debate, if you prefer) for their entitlement to an early offing.
Therefore, they will be constantly battling with each other (at televised weekly specials)to try to get the public to vote for them to be killed sooner and more pleasantly, with the full knowledge that ever increasingly horrible demises await them. For example, first ten- bullet to the back of the neck...move progressively onwards through sexual fetishism and beasting, mild torture, garrotting, short-drop hanging, on to beheading with a penknife, machete maceration; through to burning, poker up the arse, peeling and salting, tearing apart by wild voters, drawing and quartering, entrails burned in front of their eyes...until finally, the one the public wanted to keep in right until the end is lying splayed in a flaming eagle, suffocating on their own morcellised genitalia.
Its a clear ratings winner, the idea should syndicate around the world, it'll bring endemol-esque riches to the country and rid us of 650 power-crazed smug dollops of vermin.
Biscuits, I commend this motion to the house.
Posted 1 year ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberDuke; Do you ever eat Fava beans? Just a thought.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Ironduke
offlineMemberhttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=32066#post-90935
now where did I leave the tranquilizer bottle?
Posted 1 year ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberYou know what they say Id - Ketamine, just say neigh.
Posted 1 year ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberThought I'd stirrup things, it was getting all too stable.
Posted 1 year ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberHay, that's the last straw!!
In the mane, I think I've reached the end of this tail, I'm a little horse now, and its time I went to fetlock the doors.
Posted 1 year ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberDon't saddle me with any more grief.
You seem to have got to the bit where you expect me to jump.Posted 1 year ago #
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