Local Government and Planning Minister Bob Neill woke today to find six new houses going up in his back garden. He also found six sweaty builders making tea in his kitchen and raiding the fridge.
"As the man behind the "presumption to grant planning permission", I am overjoyed to see the construction industry getting on with creating jobs and homes for first-time buyers", he said to our reporter.
While slightly upset that the builders had simply taken his garden, without bothering to buy it from him, or apply for planning permission, or even check that the houses were likely to find buyers, Mr Neill still supports his government's "Tarmac Over The British Isles" policy.
David Cameron's office said the Prime Minister could not be reached for a comment, as he was "playing 18 holes of golf in his back garden".