Keen to upstage Virgin Rails plan to encourage rush hour travellers to cuddle, shy and retiring boss Michael O'Leary has suggested taking out all but one of the toilets on his planes, to increase space for more seats.
“I realise that this could prove an inconvenience to some customers” he said smugly “but during the online booking in process, we will give customers the option to select no frills colostomy surgery for just £24.99 to make the flight less uncomfortable”.
Money Which has examined his claims and has pointed out that on the final page of the booking in process is a preselected option for having a surgeon and anaesthetist present at the time of the operation, which costs a further £11,499 including sticky plasters.
Money Which spokesperson Ian Parkinson added “this blatant attempt to make headlines whilst not advertising the hidden, yet perhaps desirable costs, is most unlike O’Leary. His plan to weigh said bags as passengers disembark and to charge at excess baggage rates, will only add insult to injury”.
O’Leary was unavailable to defend the criticism, as he was taken short on the test flight, tried to jump the queue to the loo and is currently in hospital with no voice, after angry customers’ shoved budget priced RyanAir toy planes (£39.99) up the orifice from which he normally talks out of.
