The governments of Ethiopia, Kenya and Somalia are to hold 3 simultanious concerts for the poor and needy families in the UK. One official told us that he realised something had to be done when he saw a newsreel of a young boy having to buy Fifa 12 pre-owned for his x-box, as he was unable to afford a new copy of the game.
We tracked down the boy to a 3 bedroom semi in Surrey, and asked him about the poverty in which he lives. "Buying a game pre-owned was just the tip of the iceberg" he told us. " I had to recycle the oldest of my 8 mobile phones just to be able to afford the game. As I play it on my 36" HD LCD Sony Flatscreen T.V, I am reminded of how bad things have now got". At this point we stopped the interview as tears began to appear in the boy's eyes.
A spokesman for the Band Aid concerts have given us some more details of the huge events. "The events will be presented by various artists and well known African celebrities. Our main aim is get the people of Ethiopia, Kenya and Somalia to understand the plight of families in the UK. We will raise the awareness by sending Z list celebraties to the UK and have them see the conditions these people have to live in. After seeing these short videos with sad backing music, the people of our countries will see how others have to survive with nothing more than a weekly shop to Lidl in the family people carrier and 3 computer consoles as one of the few means of entertainment. We can then realise how good we have it here and give the UK our fucking money
David Cameron is said to be delighted with the annoucements from the African countries. A source close to the PM, who may or may nor exist, has told us that the Prime Minister was so grateful for their efforts he called them personally from the first class lounge at Heathrow, before jetting off to the south of France for his monthly getaway.