This weeks word is BREAKFAST and the deadline is Saturday 1st of May 9.00 a.m around breakfast time.
Bizarreness and total obscurity count well with me.
Good luck good people.
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NEAT O CHALLENGE
(37 posts) (15 voices)
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rickwestwell
offlineMemberExistential health services swoop on hotel after all-day breakfast served on occasional table.
More soon.
Posted 3 years ago # -
theumpire
offlineMemberSome NB regulars vow that there is no such thing as writer's block. Umpire, your correspondent, is currently suffering from this malaise - real or imaginary, it makes no matter.
So i may be able to return to this challenge later.
It's going to be a sort of breakfast serial.
Posted 3 years ago # -
edward hack
offlineMemberWhat's On: John Prescott's iPod
1. Eaten Trifles
2. All-Day Breakfast at Tiffany's
3. Something Stewed Pud (Like I'd love two)
4. Is There Life Without Mars
5. Sgt Pepperamis 'Lonely Nigh't Club-Sandwich
6. My Sweet Lard
7. Save The Last Flans For Me
8. God Save The Cream
9. Theme from MASH
10. Who Left The Bogs OutNext week: The Pope - what Rock's the papal boat
Posted 3 years ago # -
fernandomando
offlineMember10 points for anyone who can find my sub in September last year on the Neat-O involving continental breakfast at Tiffany's
Posted 3 years ago # -
Basil_B
offlineMemberThe contest is hotting nicely with Edward's eaten trifles although trifle is a bit decadent for breakfast.
Looking forward to your recovery from the dreaded block Umpire. A neat challenge without a contribution from you would not be right but judging by your recent work on here I cannot see any evidence of writers block.
Rickwestwell's take on it is as obscure as I like and the standard has been set from the start with his all day breakfast served on a occasional table piece.
Great start.Posted 3 years ago # -
theumpire
offlineMemberFurther scrutiny of John Prescott's iPod reveals the following -
Bed & Breakfast Man – Madness
Breakfast in Bed – UB40 with Chrissie Hynde
Brown Sugar – Rolling Stones
Addicted to Food – Robert Palmer
Tutti Frutti – Little Richard
Honey - Bobby Goldsboro
That Old Black Magic – Frank Sinatra
Sherry – The Four Seasons
Jelly, Jelly – Earl Hines
American Pie – Don Maclean
Whisky in the Jar – Thin Lizzy
Gasoline Alley Bread – The Hollies
Mouldy old Dough – Lieutenant PigeonAll washed down with a glass of Lilac Wine from Elkie Brooks.
Posted 3 years ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMember -
Basil_B
offlineMemberI had no idea that breakfast had already been used. I've only picked up on the Neat O idea just recently so any words that have been used previously I knew nothing of, honestly your honour.
I take it Fernando your re-submitting your fine September sub.
It's going to be a hard decision on Saturday.Posted 3 years ago # -
@Basil - yes, there was a time when I published a list of the Neat-Os, but was roundly slammed for being an anally-retentive spreadsheet-obsessed control-freak. However, for the record, my topic was CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST, so BREAKFAST isn't really a repetition.
Carry on...
Posted 3 years ago # -
Basil_B
offlineMemberFair enough but does that mean English Breakfast is ok for another time or Breakfast Bar, Breakfast in bed, Bed & Breakfast etc. The main point i'm making Malgor is the word breakfast still allowed under the correct and proper rules of NEAT O ?
That last paragraph of mine is out of the top draw of anal so your not the only one at it Malgor.
Posted 3 years ago # -
I think the answer is there are no rules. The neat-o is a fluid, naturally evolving phenomenon with a life of its own. But, for what it's worth, I think it's not so much the particular word that's important but the ideas and connotations the word (or phrase) evokes. And more important still is that the neat-o provides an opportunity to inspire writers to have a crack at a theme, help overcome writer's block and help each other out in the development of an idea. If I remember correctly, the very first neat-o pulled a whole bunch of ideas into an amazing piece of surrealism which deservedly finished up on the FP. I wouldn't call it a rule as such, but I do tend to think that neat-os should be able to stand alone as a proper (writers' room) submission.
I'll post the one I wrote for Continental Breakfast, which wasn't entered in the original challenge for that topic because I was judging and I naturally followed an unwritten but obvious rule that the judge can't take part in his / her own challenge. Hopefully, you'll see that the concept of Continental Breakfast is a particular sub-set of the Breakfast theme and may therefore be deemed 'a bit off topic'.
Posted 3 years ago # -
Continental breakfasts ‘turned me into a French gay-boy’ says former Durham miner
After the closure of the mines, the split of redundant miners into two distinct socio-cultural groups was nowhere more apparent than in the early morning cafes of Co Durham, says a new report. The majority stayed with the bacon, sausage, egg, beans, mushrooms, fried bread, black pudding and mug of tea tradition, and retained very strong views about ‘that bastard Thatcher’; whilst a small minority moved their chairs to the pavement, where they took their breakfasts ‘continental style’ and discussed existentialism in French accents.
‘There was a small group of us,’ recalls Fred North, ‘with the same philosophical leaning and similar berets. To us, the mines were finished and it was time to move on, sentiments aptly symbolised by two stale croissants and a cup of Nescafe. We had become ‘the outsiders’. Then I met Jacques, on a break from the endless ennui of militant action in Paris, and it wasn’t long before we’d sealed our personal entente cordiale with a kiss on both cheeks, a quick shrug and a shared Gauloise.’
Fred North’s story is not an uncommon side-effect of the continental breakfast say experts, nor is it restricted to northern male ex-miners. ‘Starting the day regularly with pain au chocolat turned me into horny French lesbian,’ confesses Nicole on page 3.
Posted 3 years ago # -
fernandomando
offlineMemberA re-post, and automatically deducted 10 points in favour of Ricardo
Tiffany & Co, the exclusive jewellery retailer, has been so badly hit by the recession that is now offering customers a breakfast option. Customers have been deserting bespoke jewellery retailers in droves and it is anticipated that the lure of morning nourishment will regain valuable trade.
The breakfasts themselves come in a variety of combinations, ranging from the traditional egg, chips, beans, black pudding, bubble and tea or coffee to the ‘Continental Breakfast’. The manager of Tiffany’s explained, ‘This is an exciting new concept for us, and we hope to open our doors to all manner of exciting new opportunities. We are especially excited at the continental breakfast option. While some might say that it is simply a stale croissant with a bit of English jam and a cup of tepid black coffee, we disagree. It will expose our customers to the finer, more cosmopolitan world of continental Europe. In many ways it will be an education for them, perhaps inspiring further knowledge of finer points of the political geography of the European continent.’
But this plan has met with opposition from more established breakfast retailers. Frank Smith, manager of ‘Greasy Frank’s Cafe’ in Lewisham was especially concerned, ‘How would Tiffany’s like it if I relocated my cafe to exclusive Bond Street premises and started selling diamonds and exclusive jewellery at enormous prices? I’ll tell you, they wouldn’t. They need to stay off my patch. The world of cut price breakfast cafe retailing is both lucrative and cut-throat. We intend to take whatever action we can. And don’t get me started on their ‘Continental Breakfast’ option. I mean, are their customers really ready for exposure to the wider European continent? I don’t think so. They’re just cynically cashing in on an image. Some of us have more integrity than that.
Despite the opposition, Tiffany & Co are pressing ahead with the plan. However they are currently looking for a new chef, as their first choice Keith Floyd is currently unavailable.
Posted 3 years ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMember(Petit) Dejeuner vu?
If I remember correctly, the very first neat-o pulled a whole bunch of ideas into an amazing piece of surrealism which deservedly finished up on the FP.
You do remember correctly! :-)
No criticism was meant about the repeated breakfast, btw Basil. The first rule of Neat-O is "there are no rules". (And the second is "No Heavy Petting".)
Posted 3 years ago # -
Basil_B
offlineMemberNo worries Rick. Last week was my first attempt at Neat O and it came as a real shock to have actually won it. On top of that I then have to set the challenge for the following week without any prior knowledge of previous contests or knowing the basic rules also came as a bit of a surprise.
Now I know there are no rules then I need'nt of worried although I expect no bombing or ducking are added to the no heavy petting rule.Posted 3 years ago # -
fernandomando
offlineMemberBrief history of the Neat-O
It all arose out of a dare between Rick and Mary. Mary was due to appear on the Richard Bacon show on Radio 5. Around that time, a number of people had looked at my blog http://fernandosbassoon.blogspot.com/
The dare was to get the word 'bassoon' mentioned, which Mary achieved. The consequence for Rick was to post a sub about bassoons, which led to a brilliant FP here: http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2009/09/12/composer-arrested-after-debut-performance-of-symphony-for-bassoon-and-naked-dwarfs/
For the next couple of weeks after that, the word 'bassoon' featured in the comedy world.
Everyone thought that this first Neat-O was a good idea. A topic was chosen, a deadline set. The only rule was that the previous winner set the topic and judged the winner. And so it continued.
These were ancient days.
Posted 3 years ago #
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