Defence Secretary Liam Fox has insisted that his relationship with friend Adam Werritty is completely innocent and similar to that of the comedians Morecambe and Wise.
"Eric and Ernie often shared a bed without anyone assuming there was something going on," said Mr Fox, "and it's exactly the same when Adam and I bunk down for the night. Often I'll be reading important defence papars, wot I wrote, and he'll just sit there quietly smoking his pipe."
BBC political correspondent Mark Sampson said that most people would be satisfied that this is all about accessing political influence and good old-fashioned greed, rather than opposition hints that things might have gone a bit 'Torchwood'.
In response to the allegations Mr Fox immediately ordered a thorough investigation of himself, before boarding a plane and refusing to speak to the press. The minister maintains there has been no breach of security or the ministerial code, arguing that Mr Werritty is completely trustworthy.
Mr Fox explained: "If you trust someone enough to let them spike your drink, take polaroids of a stripper shaving your bits and then letting them handcuff you to railings in nothing but your pants then surely you can trust them with the plans of a new missile defence system?"
The double-act of cabinet minister and unexplained bloke have been inseperable for many years. Mr Werritty was best man at Mr Fox's wedding, and even accompanied the Foxes on their honeymoon where he would pop up with annoying regularity and ask if anyone fancied hiring a jet-ski.
A series of damaging newspaper allegations in the past few days claim that Mr Werritty also spent many hours in Mr Fox's office, with the pair playing Killzone 3 on the PS3, drinking beer and watching Judd Apatow movies. The two men also went on foreign trips together
Mr Werritty said: "It's just like going on holiday with your bezzie mate, except instead of going somewhere wank like Benidorm, we get to go to Dubai and Sri Lanka. Ok, so during the day it's all 'blah blah tomahawk missiles or blah blah cluster bombs' but at night we just hit the bars and get proper shit-faced."
The Times suggests Mr Werritty has been handing out business cards showing the pair 'goofing around' in a photo booth, and describing himself as the minister's go-to-guy.
Mr Werritty denied the cards were improper and said he only got them done because there was an offer of 250 for £2. Mr Werritty also gives out business cards on which he has titled himself, "The Duke of Awesome".
Political commentator Colin Murphy said: "It is nothing new for politicians to hang with friends while engaged on state business. Clement Attlee's best mate Dave was a regular at Downing Street, and is credited with coming up with the idea of the National Health Service after a frustrated Labour cabinet minister growled, 'alright smartarse, what do you think we should be doing?"
Meanwhile, senior civil servants have requested copies of all memos and documents relating to meetings between business acquaintances of Mr Werritty and Mr Fox.
The Defence Secretary said: "I will of course give them all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order."