Carlos San Andreas has once again used his local newspapers to state that the latest earthquake is nothing to do with him "I was out of the country at the time" reads the headline
"It was hell going through school, every little tremor, I got the blame. Even in the locker room, I'd let out a little fart and people would fall to the ground. Try growing up with the history of San Francisco 1906 ringing in your ears"
His application to have his name changed by deed poll to Carlos Atacama Trench is still being processed
