Superintendant Adams went at some lengths to explain. “It all came about after Reading Rag week when one girl was dared to go topless at Junction 11. The speed decrease was immediate, unfortunately so was the carnage of a 12 car pile up behind the first gawpers, but it sewed a seed. If one topless lady causes a prang, it is the same effect as the so-called caterpillar effect, all snarled up on a stop start for miles. So lots of ladies should iron this wrinkle out.
No driver will want to go too quickly in case they miss her, and there is no point stopping to ogle as there is another one just down the road. Mind-bendingly simple.
The first Speed Bumps trial, as we have so wittily named it, failed when it started to rain as all the local girls pissed off home. So at great tax payers expense we have shipped down 250 Geordie lovelies and they've settled into these warmer climes to a tee
Each girl is of course, protected by a squad of volunteers from the force, and even the Assistant Chief Commissioner is down for 5 shifts this month
Only the Westbound carriageway will be populated so that people can get home more safely and more quickly. Eastbound, well, fuck ‘em really. ‘Off to the Smoke’ in their X6s, last thing their bosses will need is a horny banker at his desk with an unrequited semi. They'd be right off the boil trying to roger anything in a skirt by 9am and the Markets would be below 3000 in a week.”