The International Bank of the Earth has today announced that it shall not be contributing to the bail out of Mercury. The potential worsening of the financial crisis within the Solar zone has played into the hands of those opposed to joining the Solar. Bob Nothanks, Leader of the Earth Independence Party has told us "We have said all along that the Earth should not be part of the Solar, and the events in Mercury have only strengthened our view that we should pull out of the solar system all together, and orbit alone."
It is believed that the vast majority of the funds for the bail out shall be provided by Jupiter, with an approximate 24 Trillion Solars being given to Mercury to help stave off a default. Any default in Mercury would have an affect on us all, however that has not stopped some criticising Jupiter for their handout, simply not trusting their motives for the move. A member of the Earth Defence League told us " It only seems like yesterday we were fighting Jupiter in Milky Way War II. Now they want to try and take over through finance. I just don't trust them."
The Universal financial crisis started 250 years ago in the United Systems of Andromeda. Debt levels within the U.S.A reached unmanageable levels, leading to the collapse of Sun 15546b. That left a black hole in the Galaxy's finances and had a knock on effect across the universe. It is a strongly held belief that if Mercury defaults on it's debts we could end up going into a double big dipper recession.
The President of Mercury, President Freddie, today had to deal with strikes on the planet. When asked how he was coping with the strikes, he commented "the show must go on". Despite his cheerful appearance, it is believed he is considering his position after being overheard telling his chancellor "I want to break free"
As Finances on Earth begin to tighten, the issue of immigration once again raised it's head. The EDL released a statement saying "we have always believed in Earth jobs for Earth people. We are sick and tired of Martians coming over here, taking our work and women" the statement then continued with 8 pages of Martianist propaganda, including the story of a Martian not being deported as he had a pet lion.
The only piece of good news to come out today is from the Earth Authorities. A source from within Government has assured us that they have learnt from the mistakes of 2011, and all descendents of the Cameron and Brown clans have been banished to life imprisonment on Pluto as a safety measure.