News International Chairman, James Murdoch, has been awarded this year's Nobel Prize for literature for his "outstanding contribution to fiction."
The citation reads;
"Mr Murdoch has created an entire fantasy world, with it's own language, culture and particularly timed events which people all over the world can experience. Special commendation is made for his appearance before the British Parliament."
A Nobel Committee spokesman explained how Mr Murdoch was informed of the award: "The Nobel committee discusses all candidates in strictest secrecy, with the final decision agreed via a telephone conference call. We were about to call Mr Murdoch, when he called us to tell us that the award was going to be the lead story on Sky News. I imagine he found out by telepathy or some form of magic."