Tony Blair has been asked to bring his years of political experience to bear on a vexed question: should poodle owners be allowed to use hairspray on their pooches’ topknots?
Flying in to take up the Kennel Club appointment, former poodle and now international peace-envoy-for-hire Mr Blair commented, ‘Obviously I’ll, you know, listen carefully to both sides. But, speaking personally, if my years of acting as Bush's poodle taught me anything, it was – there’s nothing wrong with a touch of hairspray on the quiff, or even a suspicion of powder on the nose. Just don’t let your owner talk you into invading any countries. OK?’