After an Environment Agency report branded Thames Water the UK’s biggest polluter, the firm has been quick to defend its progress on environmental issues. Claiming that just a few minor incidents of releasing raw sewage into the River Thames have counted unnecessarily heavily against them, the management praised the success of their 'Turn Thames Water Green' initiative.
"We have reduced our impact on the environment substantially," a company spokesman said. "For example, we now use recycled paper and low energy lightbulbs in all of our offices. We have also provided recycling bins for lots of different kinds of waste for our employees to use."
When asked about the state of the Thames, the company admitted that the raw sewage releases were 'regrettable' and vowed to employ top managers and consultants in an effort to issue more frequent vacuous statements about making water pollution a thing of the past.
"But there are other forms of pollution to be addressed and we are doing our bit," the spokesman insisted. "Every Thames Water bill now has a little note automatically added on the end to remind the recipient to consider the environment before polluting the atmosphere with bad language."