The Welsh Assembly is to follow Scotland’s example and grant itself unlimited access to money provided by the English Taxpayer. The move, which will see every Welshman , woman and child given a free solid gold life-sized Elephant, was greeted with joy throughout the valleys.
Said Assembly spokesman Cledwyn Evans “Ok, so the English will moan but who cares. Free education , health care and food for all in the Principality are things we have demanded for decades. And if the English have to sell their children for medical experiments to fund all of this then so be it. It is a small price to pay for justice.
Other features of the new funding arrangements include retirement on a £100,000 per year tax free pension at the age of 35 (25 for Local Government Employees) and a free English person to use as footrest or general flunky. These benefits place Wales’ fiscal arrangements on a par with those that have applied in Scotland for several years - although the Edinburgh regime also have substantial grants from the Libyan government to subsidise their spending plans. These arrangements are currently under review.
Sitting in his underground lair situated miles below Cardiff Mr Evans reacted angrily to the suggestion that the proposals amounted to a subsidy to the Welsh. “We don’t like that word” he screamed in a high pitched monotone , “ We see it more as a tribute from a subject nation”.
Pausing only to stroke the white Persian cat on his lap Mr Evans added “And if the English don’t like it we’ll drop Max Boyce on Westminster. A few hours of his jaunty Rugby-based songs will have them praying for an early death, so cough up and deal with it”.