Women of the world united today to declare their appreciation of the work of deodorant company Sure which, through getting them to wear little tiny bells to show what busy little bees they often are, alerted them to the perils of moving about and potentially dripping like a navvy watching a pole-dance.
"Getting women to wear bells when they're out in public to demonstrate the dangers of getting a bit sweaty is ground-breaking research," claimed an anonymous marketing guru. "Using ancient wisdom from an earlier public awareness programme that saw lepers clanging bells and shouting 'unclean! unclean!' whenever they popped to the shops or picked the kids up from ballet, Sure have changed modern life for the better. Wish I'd thought of it when I was doing that Bodyform commercial."
"Who would've known that taking public transport to work or chasing after a small child required movement of our delicate and hairless bodies if those advertising geniuses at the BO company hadn't alerted us," said one grateful woman. "And as for finding a link between playing tennis and humming like a French mosquito? Well Sue Barker's certainly kept that one quiet on the Wimbledon highlights. Not very sisterly or supportive was it?"
The success of the Sure campaign has now prompted the makers of Cif to undertake new research for a major promotional campaign, which will see 98 women encouraged to shove a broom up their arses while they go about their day-to-day lives, to show how good they are at multi-tasking.
Meanwhile an attempt by the makers of Lynx to repeat the Sure study by attaching bells to the wrists of teenage boys to determine how much they enjoy the positive female role models in their online viral ads has had to be abandoned after a wave of complaints of tinnitus.