Well it's that time of the year when the trees change their hue and the leaves start to fall hence the expression "Fall" so often used by our American cousins.
An increasing feature in recent seasons has been the appearance of small bag-like growths on some of our bushes and low-hanging tree branches. If you're out for a stroll in a public wooded area take a moment to look around and you'll soon become aware of these "trophies".
Their scientific name is Poopadopulus Pendulosa, or Sly Fucking Dog Owner, and they come in a variety of colours. They're hardy too so they're with us for the whole year. The orange strain Sainsbury and the blue Offieshop are common sights everywhere but the variegated Lidlbaggis and also the watery red Insipidus, or Charityshop, will reward the more curious seeker.
A word to the wise - don't be tempted to touch these parcels. They tend to exude a foul smell. Just leave them alone for others to appreciate and for council staff to gather as they may.