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As a very occasional contributor to these distinguished pages . . .

(15 posts) (12 voices)

Started 3 years ago by theumpire
Latest reply from sauce

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theumpire

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Nice Adminnie,

As a very occasional contributor to these distinguished pages, I find that no one notices me; I am constantly ignored by the "regulars" and feel like the little man in the flat cap standing on his own at the end of the saloon bar, the one no one ever talks to.

Since obviously no one else reads my work either, I would like to read it all again myself. Can we have back our link that gathers together everything we ever submitted?

Or has it slipped down the San Andreas Fault?

Posted 3 years ago #
ramblesid

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Is that not you then?

Posted 3 years ago #
Mrblacker

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Are you Dickie Bird?

Posted 3 years ago #
PluckyMunky

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oddly enough, i was only thinking about you the other day, mr umpire. I wondered if i could turn up your slim but exquisite body of work. i hope you have a very nice week.

Posted 3 years ago #
John Square

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I beg to differ that no-one reads yer work. I know i do. Many people don't comment though, which makes me feel like my stories aren't read. So, i sympathise, but do try not to worry, old bean.

Posted 3 years ago #
PluckyMunky

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come now, mr square, let's not encourage despair. you are also read voraciously. and gawd bless you.

Posted 3 years ago #
MADJEZ

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I believe you have to fiddle with your member !

When you are in one of your bits click the green 'Member' under your name and it lists your stuff. Tho it only lists what you've done since we moved over to the crap new interface no-one reads of course.
Good luck.

Posted 3 years ago #
rikkor

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Dear Umpire, I believe that if you have a massive penis, huge breasts and/or lots of money, your comments will be more respected. Please indicate which of these you possess (the more the better) and you will become one of the "A" crwod post haste.

Posted 3 years ago #
The All New Jeni B

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Nice to see you recognise St. David's Day with a bit of Welsh at the end there Rikkor.

Posted 3 years ago #
theumpire

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Thanks to all of you for what I, for one, am construing as words of welcome. I feel warm all over.

With regard to your requirements, Mr Kor, I can manage two of the three, but I'm not saying which.

Posted 3 years ago #
Scroat

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Hey - two out of three is pretty good.

Posted 3 years ago #
Jammydodgers

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Huge breasts and a massive Penis, then...

has 2 B! ... wouldn't be hanging around with the likes of us if it was any other combination!

Posted 3 years ago #
Quaz

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I feel sure I once met a lady-boy of that discription in Thailand and he/she was wearing a flat cap. If it was you Umpire, I was the chap in Pat-Pong wearing a tie-died thong and I still have one of your ping-pong balls.

Posted 3 years ago #
rikkor

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Jeni, Welsh bit was funny.

Posted 3 years ago #
sauce

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Are you sure you're ignored? Some of the regulars are so very busy that they leave cardboard effigies to keep their place at the bar while they're elsewhere, opening things.

Posted 3 years ago #

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