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Horoscopes

(17 posts) (9 voices)

Started 1 year ago by Screenie
Latest reply from AvidReader

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Screenie

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I swear I saw somewhere, possibly in a guidelines to submission or something although I can no longer find it, a suggestion of horoscopes.
I like horoscopes.
Can we do horoscopes?
horoscopes.

That is all.

I was going to say 'made up horoscopes' but that is horoscopes, so I didn't.

Posted 1 year ago #
bonjonelson

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Pisces - You are really a saggitarius, your mother lied to you.

Posted 1 year ago #
Screenie

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I presume the mother is a gemini? typical.

Posted 1 year ago #
rikkor

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This whole thing is giving me Cancer.

Posted 1 year ago #
Screenie

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Where, Uranus?

Posted 1 year ago #
seymour totti

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I used to post some on here a few years back. Started out all keen and put them on weekly. After about 2 months, I ran out of ideas.

Be fun if someone else took up the torch for them!

Posted 1 year ago #
Qoxiivi

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Doesn't The Onion (or some other satirical site) do horoscopes as well?

Posted 1 year ago #
beau-jolly

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Aries: You, and roughly 8.5% of the world's population, will have something vague happen that you could interpret to match something that did or may happen.

There is a word for the art of ambiguous suggestion like wot spritualists and Astrologers do. Can anyone remind me of it as it is a bloody useful word?

Posted 1 year ago #
Screenie

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lying?

Posted 1 year ago #
Screenie

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Virgo: Don't like what this horoscope is telling you? Keep reading all the papers till you find one that you do like.

Posted 1 year ago #
Qoxiivi

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BJ: Barnum Statements

Posted 1 year ago #
Screenie

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Explains the girlfriend's 'suggestion' that I'll get a BJ if I take the bins out. Never quite comes to fruition.

Posted 1 year ago #
dvo4fun

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Screenie - are you sure you fully understood what 'take the bins out' meant? Might explain the outcome.

Posted 1 year ago #
Screenie

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Course I do, and I did it properly! Hired a hitman and everything.

Posted 1 year ago #
beau-jolly

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Thank you Qoxiivi. Barnum statements, Barnum statements, Barnum statements. Now I have it I can just mutter these two words the next time someone reads my horoscope to me instead of saying, "Yeh, me and around 1/12 of the population of the world, allowing for seasonal variations in birth rate"

Posted 1 year ago #
tedweasel

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Yes, Horror Scopes.
And a malicious Classified Ad/Personal page

Posted 1 year ago #
AvidReader

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My horoscope for today is great, "engage in humorous venture and wealth will come your way" Best look elsewhere then

Posted 1 year ago #

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