A coroner who passed a verdict of ‘hmmm not really sure’ on a man who died while attending an outdoor festival in Somerset concluded that the death could not be put down ‘solely to Coldplay’s abject performance on Saturday night’.
An inquest into the death was carried out by an East Somerset coroner after a full post mortem failed to identify the exact cause of death.
‘When anybody dies at a Coldplay concert the first thing we check are the wrists’ confirmed the coroner ‘but they were definitely clean. There was no indication of a ligature and the stomach contents showed no signs of sodium hypochlorite so we can only assume Coldplay must have had an accomplice’.
A quick scan through the headline acts the previous evening was enough to confirm the coroner’s worst fears when it became clear that both U2 and Morrissey had played live on the same bill, on the same evening and within hours of each other....’giving the poor people trapped down the front every reason to die that night, naturally or otherwise’.
I think this can clear up any inaccurate speculation about cause of death....Morrisey, U2 and Coldplay all playing live in the same place over the same weekend and with class A drugs and alcohol banned.
What were they thinking of’?
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Coldplay ‘only partly responsible’ says coroner
(3 posts) (3 voices)
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Posted 1 year ago #
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Missed this one earlier. '..the first thing we check are the wrists' - excellent (though some singular/plural is/are issue?)
Have some stars.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Echo dvo's comments. Quality conceit.
Posted 1 year ago #
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