New evidence has been found to support the theory that the entire works of Shakespeare were first written by a room of monkeys with typewriters. A recent excavation, just off Henley Street, Stratford-Upon-Avon, has revealed the ruins of a room housing the remains of typewriters and the skeletons of twenty monkeys.
More incredibly, the find pushes back the date for the invention of the typewriter by 150 years. It is likely that Shakespeare himself copied out the finished manuscripts, to add that authentic handwritten effect and cover the traces of the true authorship.
These finds add to growing evidence reserves, including the recently confirmed origin of the phrases “monkey-mischief” and “monkey-business”, found in Shakespeare’s own diaries, where they were ironically used in a more literal sense.
Today, computer simulations have revealed that the feat was possible. By modeling the logistics of importing the monkeys and keeping them fed and focussed, programmer Jesse Anderson believes he has provided compelling evidence to the cause. “Indeed, the computer simulations have shown that it would have been possible to fit twenty monkeys on a small ship, and the weather patterns at the time would have allowed safe passage of the ship up the Avon. Provision of a monkey puzzle tree in the garden would have kept the monkeys stimulated and on task. The findings are unequivocal.”
Whilst the literary prowess of the great Bard is under question, Shakespeare is bound to now be credited as the proprietor of the first British factory sweat-shop.