"What does a pachyderm have to do to get noticed in here?" asks Jumbo, the world's favourite yet paradoxically unmentionable animal metaphor. "I have loudly hummed Nellie the Elephant, and even gone through the undignified business of miming packing my trunk. I have trumpeted voluntarily, I have comically tossed fruit from the fruit bowl into my mouth, and yet nothing. My existence seems to be entirely in the cause of non existing. I am trapped in an existential nightmare, a Pirandellian cul de sac. The head of the herd truly is calling, far far away, yet if I were to break the door down, trample my ignorers, crash out of here, my very being would be threatened. At least Schroedinger's cat had its own box. I know this looks like dreadful attention-seeking and in a way that's exactly what it is. But let me warn you, I'm going to keep doing it. Surely the law of unintended consequences has to come into play here. You think I like doing this? Can you imagine for one moment the indignity of the whole situation?"
Jumbo's descent into what was known in the seventies as "dirty protest" has worried animal activists, who see it as a sign of psychological disturbance, but Mike Butler of What Metaphor? magazine insists that for the sake of logic, he must be ignored. "You will notice that WM? is covering the story by not covering it. Please, don't put that bit in."
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Still no mention of room-elephant despite massive poo.
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nickb
offlineMemberPosted 1 year ago #
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