A cabinet minister made a speech today designed to calm fears relating to the possible widespread public sector strikes.
The minister explained how “genius” had struck him while shopping in London’s famous toy shop, Hamleys, “There I was shopping for my little boy’s birthday when I noticed a large sign in the Lego department. It read ‘SALE’ and I thought, that’s it! Lego men can provide cover during the strikes! I mean sure they’re a little on the short side and not very talkative, but I can get Lego policemen, Lego doctors, Lego firemen, why I can even get Lego train drivers from here!”
“I know some of you out there might be sceptical of this idea, maybe you’re thinking it’s a little ‘crazy’, but I know your concerns. You’re worried that the Lego firemen might melt in the heat of a blaze, of course you are. Well I assure you there is no need for concern; I bought twice as many firemen than the others. And for all you economists out there, these Lego men were bought in a sale, so we’re talking deficit-busting prices here”.
The minister spoke for forty minutes in total while he attempted to convince the press of his plan, making such statement as: “…the Lego policemen even come with tiny batons. Great if any more riots break out” and “…if a patient would prefer to be treated by a female doctor then we can just swap the Lego man’s head for a lady head”.
The minister did face criticism however, with one particularly outspoken journalist having the following to say: “Excuse me, but are you for real? Lego men? You want to put Lego men in charge of our public sectors? Not only are they tiny, made of plastic and not alive, but they’re also dangerously unqualified to carry out medical procedures!” The minister’s reply was a short one; “but they were in the sale”.