With the imminent crash landing of a half ton satellite, sales of hats, particularly of the safety, bowler and top varieties have boomed.
One shopper commented that the odds of being hit by the satellite had been given as 500 million to 1 - "that's about the same as the lottery, and I'm pretty sure this is my week to win it big so it would be just my luck to be clocked on the nut by a satellite. It just makes sense to wear a top hat for the next few days."