A farmer from Formby on Mersyside who was harvesting fields of root vegetables got more than he bargained for, and was completely flabbergasted when it was discovered that every single one of them looked like an amusing set of male genitals.
The farmer's wife, Mrs Joan Cooper, said last night, "It was quite extraordinary. When it came time to dig up the spuds and parsnips, well we couldn't believe what we saw. It was just huge massive knobs and thumping great bollocks everywhere we looked. Great big huge members thrusting proudly...oops!...sorry...erm...don't print that bit will you."
And farmer John Cooper chuckled, "Some of our casual workers are students and we knew something was wrong, when in particular, we saw some of the girls blushing, tittering and laughing like schoolkids immediately after the tractor had turned over the earth. Well I jumped down off of me seat, and bugger me like, it was cocks and balls everywhere. I hardly knew where to put myself with the embarrassment of it all. But luckily the girls took it in good part and I think that they realised that I hadn't meant no harm and that it was a freak of nature really. Mind, it's just such a pity that Esther Rantzen's not on the TV any more with That's Life's or we could've had a field day."