Billionaire businessman Lord Sugar has made a triumph out of a potential medical tragedy. Diagnosed this week with diabetes at the same time as being awarded a Baronetcy, he promptly did a deal with the maker of the zero calorie beverage enhancer for an undisclosed sum of £750,000 a year for life. His new coat of arms will include the famous yellow logo, and syringes rampant. It’s the first time a peerage has received commercial sponsorship, leaving the way clear for Eric Pickles to choose from a wide range of hi-calorie comedic possibilities.
Baron Splenda, a millionaire from failed football managership and obsolescent green screens, would not say who gave him the idea. “Someone’s in for a sweetener” he joked, before shooting up.
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
Lord Sugar to be promoted to Baron Splenda after diabetes diagnosis
(1 post) (1 voice)
Current rating::
-
nickb
offlineMemberPosted 1 year ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.