A pastry cook has been awarded £1.2m in damages after becoming anally fixated following years of cutting out crinkly scones. Mavis Pierce, aged 54 was sacked after more than 30 years of ‘loyal’ service at Dale End Bakery in East Grinstead, when employers suddenly started to receive scores of customer complaints which led them to scrutinise her work.
Mrs Pierce, who is now in secure accommodation but in a recovery phase said, “I started using crinkly scone cutters on my very first day at Dale End and had hoped to get promoted to a senior pastry position. However, I was just too good at my job, turning out perfect crinkly scones every time so they left me to it for over thirty years.
It got to the point that every time I picked up a crinkly scone cutter I saw one of the arseholes that I worked for. I’d go to bed thinking about it then wake up in a sweat, then go to work the next day with it still on my mind.”
After being diagnosed as anally fixated Mrs Pierce was taken off the crinkly scone production line and moved over to cream pies. However the damage had been done, and after a spate of industrial espionage at the bakery with jam doughnuts found filled with haemorrhoid cream employers became suspicious. Secret cameras revealed the culprit and Mrs Pierce was sacked on the spot.
Today at an industrial tribunal in East Grinstead, Dale End Bakery was found guilty of neglecting to address the needs of one of its employees over a thirty year period. They were fined £1.2m and ordered to give Mrs Pierce immediate satisfaction.
A spokesman for Dale End Bakery said, “We will be making an appeal to the decision today as we feel that we gave Mrs Pierce every opportunity to put her hand in. Do I think she was anally fixated? My arse!“