Eric Sanders, 37, of Carshalton, was said to be cock-a-hoop yesterday after successfully propelling a disinfectant toilet block a full circuit round a urinal drainage hole in the course of a single micturation. He told reporters he had trained long and hard for the record attempt and had spent the entire morning beforehand drinking alternate cups of strong coffee and glasses of water.
Unfortunately, calls for the achievement to be recognised as an official record have not succeeded. Colleagues claim the block had been worn down by previous attempts and was no longer of regulation size and shape, but more importantly the Guinness Book of Records has said that all record attempts must be witnessed before they can be ratified.
Mr Sanders said that while of course he would have no problems going while being watched, he had no wish to put himself through the arduous preparation process again. However, he is understood to be considering a further attempt provided the observer is in another room and uses a camera that only looks downwards and not sideways. He is also reported to be interested in a sponsorship offer by Guinness if he succeeds.
The worldwide popularity of urinal block pissing has led to calls for it to be recognised as an Olympic event at Rio de Janeiro in 2016 in place of the 50 kilometre road walk, but some fear this would detract from the amateur spirit of the sport. ‘In no time at all, it would become dominated by shameless leviathans with elephant-sized bladders and high-pressure dongs, achieving double or even triple circuits,’ said a spokesman. ‘Where’s the fun in that?’
Focus groups have however reported a ‘what’s not to like?’ response from teenagers and fans of programmes as diverse as X-Factor and QI, and work on a special stadium by makers of see-through squash courts has already been commissioned.