Under mounting pressure to tackle head on the 2.5 million and growing number of unemployed, David Cameron today will unveil a vaguely worded slogan which will, it is hoped, give the unemployed a 'greater sense of policy inclusion' as part of his wider plans for a 'Big Society'.
The slogan, 'Because I'm worth it!', will allow the jobless masses to feel, however tenuously, that they are a vital and integral component of the government's central policy of deficit reduction, a policy that several government-backed surveys have shown is a clear priority among the unemployed.
Developed at a cost of £670,000 yesterday afternoon by Saatchi & Saatchi, the slogan will be expensively deployed on billboards and posters, online and on television. A T-shirt bearing the slogan will also be produced and handed out to the unemployed next week, with £12.99 deducted automatically from each person's benefit to create 2.5 million 'stakeholders' in the new initiative. This measure alone will net the Treasury an estimated £25 million as the garments are being manufactured by small children in Vietnam at minimal cost.
A government spokesperson stressed that the new slogan is just the first part of a multi-pronged approach to the unemployment problem: "We also have a logo in the works, and if unemployment should hit 3 million we will seriously consider commissioning a song. No gimmick is off the table at this point."