"We will fight them on the beaches," as Churchill famously once said, and before long it might just come to that, if as is being reported today, bonkers Brussels bureaucrats soon pass a new law on their mad agenda which will force Great Britain to drop its Great prefix by 2015.
It seems that, as some would have it, our contentious smug-sounding handle is just too much for Johnny Foreigner to bear, and the move to strip us of our self-congratulatory title is gathering pace on the continent.
Commenting from his swanky office in Paris, European Minister for Member State Nomenclature, Jaques Blanc, said, "What is wrong weeth you Breetish? I zink ze 'Grait' is sounding very stupeed and is a throwback to ze olden times. Look at what has happened to ze Marathon shock-o-la bar. Eet is now called Snickers. So why not simply call Grait Britain...Britain? Pfft!"
But Prime Minister, David Cameron, addressing a conference to further International Diplomacy in Bognor unleashed the following fusillade of fury at his European partners.
"If Mr or, Monsieur, Blanc and his garlic-smelling, sausage-munching surrender-monkey chums think that they will ever get our nation to drop its 'Great' then they can think again. Look here, who won the war anyway? We call ourselves Great Britain simply because that's exactly what we are...Britain! They're only annoyed because their backward little nations aren't called things like Fantastic France, Bloody Brilliant Belgium and Splendid Spain."
Meanwhile former Desert Rat and OAP, Bert Walters, has entered the debate. Speaking from his retirement home in West Sussex he said, "Eighty seven and still got all me own teeth. Amazing ain't it son? And we get Spotted-Dick every Tuesday. Lovely!"
