Isle of Wight Resident and unpublished author Keith Plum yesterday sent out an impassioned plea to save his beloved shed, as he launched a campaign to raise the £500,000 that he says is needed to undo years of neglect.
“I’ve had some very happy times in this shed.” said Keith. “I still can remember exactly the day I bought it and put it up, one Saturday it was, 2 months after I married Mrs Plum. I reckon this shed saved our marriage, it gave me a sanctuary to write in. Every night I’d get home from work at the paper weight factory at 6’oclock, the Mrs would have the supper drying out in the oven, then I was straight out to the shed until she went to bed about 10’ish. After that I’d come back inside in time to catch News Night or Question Time and have a cup of hot chocolate before bed.”
Keith is happy to give a tour of the shed and its iconic contents. At one end sits an old armchair that he rescued from a skip, to the right of that is a paraffin heater “To warm my hands” explains Keith. A roll of toilet paper, Keith’s preferred writing medium, sits on a shelf on the left, and below that sits a box full of pornographic magazines. “I’ve spent many a night in here, sat in my armchair, knocking something out and polishing my oeuvre” he fondly recalled.
Keith says that he needs the money to move the shed to a more suitable location for restoration and preservation, preferably somewhere like Rio de Janeiro or Thailand. After that it will need to be enclosed in a specialist structure, preferably something with a couple of large bedrooms, en-suite double showers, a hot-tub, views over the sea and a pair of local young ladies to help him look after it.
When asked about what Mrs Plumb did for company, Keith replied “Oh, she has lots of friends round of an evening, men and women. I think it’s a motorcycle club or something, because they mostly dress in leather and high boots. They are certainly a safety conscious lot because some of them even wear leather balaclavas. Whatever it is, they certainly make a lot of noise. Some nights it really puts me off my stroke, but they have always gone before I come out of the shed.”