The Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) will officially join the European Union on January 1 next year, according to a statement from the EU's Directorate of Expansion Rapporteurs.
In the statement, the DER said it was delighted to add a new democracy to the Union, and that the DPRK and EU had much to offer one another.
"The accession of the DPRK puts paid to the idea that the EU is a cosy Christian-only club," the statement noted. "By adding 25 million dog-eating atheists, we have vastly increased our diversity."
The statement also pointed out that the 120,000 square kilometers of vacant land area in the DPRK is ideal for covering with energy-generating windmills, thus enabling the EU to meet its renewable energy targets "at a stroke."
Economically, the DPRK will also benefit by being the first port of entry for all Chinese goods to the EU, enabling tariff collection to be centralised rather than having to rely on the messy collection methods of individual nation-states.
Duties on EU goods such as champagne and cognac would no longer need to be paid by DPRK consumers, the statement added.
In cultural terms, the accession of the DPRK will revitalize events such as the Eurovision Song Contest, challenging the current techno-glitz offerings with truly moving songs such as "I Love a Wounded War Hero" and "The Red Sun Sparkles as I Go Off To War". Tactical voting will become harder as well, the EU said.
Furthermore, the DPRK has offered to provide facilities for the re-education of unruly European youth, by getting them to participate in the Arirang Festival, where up to 30,000 well-trained youth gymnasts perform a two-hour dance routine of holding up coloured cards to extol the wisdom of their leaders.
"A better educational experience would be hard to imagine," the statement said.