After three days of tireless interviewing the British media can now reveal the whereabouts of every single celebrity in London when they heard about the events in the New York.
Celebrity policeman Sir Ian Blair was on the way to a meeting, it was revealed in an interview with LBC. He knew straight away it was "something big" and that "the game had changed."
"Clearly Sir Ian Blair has given the matter a lot of thought in the last ten years," said a researcher. "This insightful analysis is the result of a decade's worth of cogitation by the first chief commissioner to go to Oxford University. No ordinary mortal could have spoken so movingly."
At times like these, it's good for the public to hear the words of an ex police chief who was forced to resign after being accused of not being very good, said a spokesman for The British Media.
But they didn't stop at interviewing ex celebrity cops. Piers Morgan has been interviewed too, as has any celebrity who has ever visited New York. "The British public can never understand the enormity of that awful day unless it's presented through the eyes of a celebrity," said a spokesman for The Media.