Tim Cook, Apple's new CEO, today a radical new direction for the innovative technology company by replacing their electronic products with a voucher granting the bearer one unit of unbearable self-satisfaction. The iSmug will come in the form of a laminated card on a lanyard the user can wear at all times. Cook explained "we have been looking intensively at reducing our cost base and discovered that while our customer quite appreciated our hardware what they really liked was the onanistic quality of our brand. So in the spirit of his Steveness we've stripped out the unnecessary to get at the essence of the thing which is something that says "I'm Apple's bitch".
The iSmug starts at £999.
[yes, I am buying a new MacBook, why do you ask?]