Following the decision by McDonalds to label food clearly with levels of fat, salt and protein, fatboy cabinet minister Eric "Jar of and don't skimp on the cheese" Pickles is to be given a tattoo showing his full nutritional value.
"I know that we oppose the nanny state" said David Cameron "But if Eric were to be captured by a tribe of cannibals he could easily be responsible for an obesity epidemic which would wipe them out within a few days if they mistakenly thought his calorific value was anything like that of a normal human being, which of course he isn't."
Health officials have been struggling to decide where the tattoo should be placed admitted Cameron "At first we wanted it to be displayed clearly on his forehead, but even in tiny print there just wasn't enough room, so I'm afraid we had to go for his tummy where there was ample space. We thought of putting it on his backside but decided against it because of the trauma reading it would cause."
The move by Pickles is thought to be setting a trend for the labelling of other public officials with French president Nicholas Sarkozy having his height stamped on to his emerging bald patch, where it will be clearly visible to anyone over the age of three."