The Gay Times is offering advice to its readers on how to give blood, and which occasions are best.
'Blood is a tricky present to give without causing offence' says the style section. 'Some people are a bit funny about being presented with a frothy, foaming binfull of blood, particularly if the giver gets the blood from a passer-by using a meat cleaver, while screaming THIS IS FOR YOU MY DARLING.'
'Never give blood for Christmas as it clashes with the napkins, and always pop a little card on birthday blood, so they know who was thinking of them.'
'You can give your own blood, but stop at 4 pints, this is the point where our assistant passed out and we had to put it back in him with a fire extinguisher and a funnel. He says that it wasn't better to give than to receive, but his woozy bloodless brain might have been what made him say that.'
Blood: the sticky gift that makes your legs work.