It is a familiar message that has paid off, according to a joint conference of climatologists and laundry-scientists held in Philadelphia last week. "Do not request fresh towels unless it is entirely necessary, and play your part in safeguarding scarce resources like electricity, water, and minimum wage Eastern European labour." The accumulated carefulness of millions of travellers over twenty years has reversed global warming and seen an end to rising sea levels. And in extensive surveys, guests have reported no appreciable lowering of standards. The surveys also showed a drop in world ozone density, more white rhinos and increased satisfaction with room cleanliness and speed of checkout!
"It really should come as no surprise" says Dick Fentiman, Vice President of the Green Innkeepers Group. Care for our guests - with great weekend deals for families, chocolates on pillows, complementary bar snacks and affordable prostitutes* - is as important as care for the planet. Thanks to our guests and their concern for mother earth, we can go back to gas guzzling automobiles, more frivolous short haul flying and electric curtains as standard. The carbon footprint on towels was once the hospitality industry's dirty secret. Not any more!"
*selected outlets only. Terms and conditions apply.