Firefighters in Texas struggling to contain a wildfire that has destroyed over 500 homes think the fire may have either escaped from captivity or was released into the wild by its owner.
Fires in the US are often kept as exotic features in peoples fireplaces or used to heat the coals on an open BBQ out in the back yard but owners forget they can soon become unmanageable and grow out of control.
‘A small fire might look neat when contained in a faux inglenook recess or a wood burning stove in the corner of your sitting room but they need constant care and attention’ said Berwick Gleave from the SAFD ‘fires are no different from the rest of us.. the more you feed them, the bigger they get and it’s not long before they’re too big to keep in the house’.
One San Antonio resident who lost everything in a fire was quick to condemn owners who were unable to control their fire...’my neighbour had a fire once, escaped out the chimney, just up and left. They went out looking for it and put up posters for a while but the they never seen it again.. ‘till one day it came back...and boy, had it grown...ruined all the furniture first, then ate up all the house-it just kept on getting bigger, then the fire department said everybody had to leave town....they opened up the water cannons to scare it off and eventually it disappeared-darn critter kept us awake all night’.
Most Texan fires found raging out of control are not actually indigenous to the US, are thought to have been brought over by Chinese laundry workers sometime during the 17th century and have now virtually wiped out the smaller native variety.
Domestic fires are often seen as a status symbol amongst middle Americans but can soon outgrow a family home and people should think twice about owning one warned Officer Gleave
‘Fires are feral creatures and don’t really belong indoors. You get people who go to the movies, they see a film like Towering Inferno or Backdraft and they think ‘hey that looks cute, I wouldn’t mind one of those’
But the novelty of cleaning out the grate and chopping logs everyday soon wears off. There’s not a guy on this force who hasn’t had his heart ripped out by having to remove a little dead fire from the bottom of a water-butt’.
Fire Officers at the SAFD are concerned that this sort of reckless activity could soon spread to people who own water.
‘’Yes, it’s a growing concern’ continued Gleaves ‘we’re finding an increasing number of owners are simply flushing their unwanted water down the toilet. It’s very often the same people.
What happens if we get a fire raging out of control and along comes a flood...it doesn’t bare thinking about’.
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Fire the size of Conneticut ‘was Conneticut’ confirm Fire Officers
(14 posts) (12 voices)
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Posted 6 years ago #
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I quite like both headline and story, but they don't quite fit together do they?
Posted 6 years ago # -
Berwick Gleave is my new
stalker handlealter ego.It does need to decide what it wants to do. The Texas fires premise is obviously topical, while the developed theme is funnier. Maybe just reference the [recent spate of] fires at the beginning then jump straight into the whole 'not just for christmas' schtick. And yeah, change the headline.
Stars, though. Schmokin'
Posted 6 years ago # -
I love it, although there is a bit of a gap between headline and text.
Made me chortle though, 5 fire hydrants to you.
Posted 6 years ago #
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