Uber-Vegetarian Paul McCartney has denied ordering staff at his homes in the UK and USA to stockpile Brussel Sprouts for his family to eat this christmas following fears of a world shortage caused by One World Day celebrations.
Vegans and Vegetarians such as Paul McCartney around the world luckily rarely go without on Christmas Day and thanksgiving feasts. Whilst everyone else is fighting for the white meat and who gets to pull the wishbone the vegetarians and vegans get to scoff all the vegetables that everyone else gives the cold shoulder to. Sometimes there's veggie/ vegan dissapointment when they find that the roast potatoes have been cooked in goosefat but often this goes un-noticed.
This year it could be different and brussel sprout growers around the world are predicting a brussel sprout drought on Chistmas Day and possibly at thanksgiving too - New York Vegan musicician is said to be growing his own sprouts in a windowbox under a specially constructed smog-canopy just in case.
The cause of the potential festive menu vegetable crisis horror amongst vegetarians and vegans is being blamed on a global awareness day, One World Day on November the 1st, billed to set a new world record for plant and vegetable eating.
Founder of One World Day - Tony Bishop-Weston author of a number of healthy plant eating diet books said today " We think we will win where other campaigns, such as 5 a day, have failed because we are delegating to people who have already seen the plantastic light. Instead of saying 'you must eat fruit and veg' we are empowering people to force other people - friends, workmates and even relatives to eat plants."
" If everyone on the planet bullies just one extra person to eat more vegetables we could wipe out chronic disease, world poverty and of course avoid global environmental catastrophe in a matter of hours."
Vegetarian aid agencies are convinced that when Bishop-Weston's new cookbook hits the shelves, with a secret recipe for Brussel sprouts that sales of the testicle shaped brassica will sky rocket through the roof. Futures market experts are already advising hedge fund managers and investors to keep a close eye on vegetable markets.
Brussel sprouts and chestnuts are already alleged to be fetching record sums on Ebay and comparison websites such as 'compare the meercat' and 'MSG - MoneySuperGreengrocer.com
Genetic scientists are currently looking at growing Brussel sprouts on trees to increase crop yeild size and meet demand in time for One World Day and Christmas