Scottish parliament sounded the death knell of tiresome task metaphors this week as the cushiest number in contracting finally came to a tacky end. Patrons of the bridge had a belated epiphany, after realising they could have saved £130 million since 1971, simply by applying decent gloss paint, rather than the B&Q 'Value' Emulsion favoured by incumbent contractors, Messrs Bodgett & Scarper.
"Of course this leaves a gaping hole in the never-ending job analogy market," said first minister, Alex Salmond, explaining that the well-worn phrase would now be put out to pasture, together with the cheeky bastards who'd been coining it in at their expense the last thirty years.
Spearheaded by presenter James Naughtie, a moratorium for new ways of expressing the existential futility of an endless, thankless task was hastily convened for Scottish TV tonight, sandwiched live between an episode of 'Take the High Road' and the six-hour elimination heat of 'One Man and his Dog, in a Bog, in the Fog.'
